"Every philosophical notion I run into gets deeply rooted in my reasoning and needs a messy scandal to be eradicated, whereafter a pervading sense of emptiness cleanses my perception and makes me forget that soul is unobjectifiable," said one teacher to another. "There is no red colour without a red object," said the other playfully. "Look into yourself, and you'll only see assertions of bold аssumptions on senseless grounds."
"Well, there is that," said he, who runs into philosophical notions and appropriates them without understanding, on a deeper level. Thus an inner argument was concluded, like a menacing inward protuberance without consequence."
1. One teacher said: "Whoever sounds apologetic while telling lies should not be trusted." Having formulated this thought, he committed suicide in an obsolete way and was immortalised in a limerick.
2. One teacher had the faculty of detaching certain parts of his brain and displacing them into transcendental regions of the immaterial realm. Thus he came to know the Beyond. Having acquired this knowledge, he committed suicide in an obsolete way and was immortalised in an excellent limerick.
3. Two masters exchanged opinions and lost respect of their disciples, who left them no choice but to commit mutual altericide in a particularly painful way. They were then immortalised in a doggerel, which came down to us as a little known ditty.
4. One teacher observed that howsoever unequivocally science should explain the nature of soap, its modus operandi will always retain an element of metaphysical inexplicability. Having obtained this maxim, he cleansed himself thoroughly and committed suicide in a somewhat negligent way. He was nevertheless immortalised in a shortened limerick with well pronounced caesurae.
5. One student, knowing he was not worthy of this, still wanted to be immortalised in a limerick. He committed suicide in an awkward way, but the limerick he wanted to be immortalised in was so much abused during the subsequent years, that at present it comprises a hardly comprehensible story about an old lady and her unusual domestic animals.
6. The Master said: "One has attained wisdom when things he doesn't understand stop making him uneasy and start to amuse him, while things he understands stop amusing him and start making him uneasy." Though he knew this maxim was worth a dead donkey's turd, he committed suicide in a particularly awe-inspiring manner after immortalising himself in an excruciatingly long series of hudibrastic verses, which came down to us as a limerick due to a succession of scribal errors.
Лично мне всё это напоминает шутки ботаников, обсуждающих совпадения моральных устоев Средиземья с действиями героев Стругацких, сбиваясь время от времени на детали доказательств теорем модальной логики и методы развёртывания рекурсивных функций, но это субъективно, а читателю всегда наплевать.